Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

You might’ve heard “there’s no right to gay marriage in the Constitution,” or that marriage equality is something brand new that’s only just been invented. And it’s true that I don’t see the words “gay marriage” in the Constitution. But I also don’t see “straight marriage,” either — or any marriage at all. So, does the Constitution protect marriage or not?
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A majority of religious Americans say they support marriage equality according to new numbers by the Public Religion Research Institute — a sign that more people of faith are reconciling their beliefs and improving their understanding of LGBT people and families…

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Clip from the Friday, April 24th 2015 edition of The Kyle Kulinski Show, which airs live on Blog Talk Radio and Secular Talk Radio monday – friday 4-6pm Eastern.

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Gay marriage is one of the most polarizing topics, yet who with any decent level of compassion and understanding would reject a law allowing gays to have the same legal rights as straight people? It comes down to tolerance.

Alas, marriage is a terrible idea for gays, particularly when gay people try to imitate the traditional marriage model. Why copy something that has a 50% + failure rate, and that’s not including those who stay unhappily married?

Here are 7 reasons gay couples should think twice about attempting to imitate the traditional marriage model.

1) Money: The concept of marriage was originally mostly about property rights, not love. Now, with over half of all marriages ending in divorce, and many of those couples fighting it out in court over money, have things really changed very much? You don’t know how your partner will react in 10 or 20 years if they don’t feel their needs are being met. Why complicate things by combining all your finances?

2) Monogamy: Before Stephen became a matchmaker, he was quite idealistic about romantic relationships. By the time he sold the company in 1997, he had a much more thorough understanding of human nature and love relationships after interviewing people about their love lives, and observing 1000s of relationships. One of the things he learned is that a sizable percentage (larger than you think) of people who assume they are the long-term, strictly monogamous type really are not. Some don’t know themselves well enough, some conform to keep the peace or get what they want, and some pretend they want strict monogamy for the rest of their lives for other reasons.

For a short period of time they can easily remain faithful, but eventually they will be miserable. Traditional marriage doesn’t take this into consideration. In addition, gay men and men in general tend to be comfortable separating sex and love, allowing them physical contact without a deep emotional connection, and they have an innate drive for multiple partners. Therefore, strict long-term monogamy may not be the best path for all gay couples. Considering the high rate of cheating among heterosexual couples, apparently it’s not the best idea for them either! Perhaps all couples would instead be better off focusing on complete honesty and safe-sex 100% of the time.

3) Religion: If you were hoping we would champion the religious themes often used against gay marriage, sorry, we’re not going to do that. Since religion originally had nothing to do with marriage, that argument is about as phony as an outspoken, anti-gay yet closeted preacher.

Our findings tell us that anti-gay sentiment will incur negative karma and result in future lives where the culprit will experience a similar circumstance, but as the victim, even for those who claim to be anti-gay in the name of religion.

4) One size does not fit all: The traditional marriage model encourages couples to conform to certain rules and customs which may not be compatible with one or both partners, gay or straight. You don’t need a certificate from the government to prove your love for each other or to anyone else.

5) Kids: Marriage used to be perceived as necessary before having children. Is it really? In reality, parents trying to fit into the traditional marriage mold too often results in disharmony, which is toxic for kids. If you want children, opt for what we call a “child contract” instead of a marriage contract. This will, unlike marriage, put the child first, rather than the demands and expectations of a traditional, and potentially draining marriage. It also financially protects the main caretaker of the child before having the child.

6) The marriage agenda: After witnessing so many agenda-minded women that straight male friends (including Scott) have dated being overly focused, in our opinion, on getting a ring on their finger, gays should be grateful (Stephen is!) they don’t have to deal with that (though Stephen has known straight women who had him in their viewfinder- yikes!).

We can certainly understand why some women (and men) seek financial security through marriage, as it’s easier to be a good parent when you don’t need to worry about money. But it takes the fun out of dating and it’s annoying when every other person is too focused on their goal of getting married instead of simply getting to know someone and allowing the connection to be what it is naturally. Dating for gay men is challenging enough and marriage would add yet another reason to stay single.

7) Marriage won’t lock in happiness or guarantee you won’t grow old alone: On the surface, marriage seems like a great idea, and of course it can be wonderful when two people are truly compatible. But when you delve into the reasons why so many people become unhappy in their relationships, and you see these same reasons over and over with a majority of couples as we have with our work, the harmful effects of traditional marriage become obvious. Getting married will never lock in or guarantee security, stability, or happiness. Because of this, it seems reasonable that people should wait until after age 40 to marry so at least they will know themselves better when they make this life-long commitment.

It sure would be nice to see gay couples have the same legal rights as straight couples, and more people, no matter what their orientation, question whether getting married is really their best option.

Prediction: In 50 years people will look back and see the obsession with traditional marriage and the blocking of gay marriage as archaic and discriminatory

Free report: 13 Spiritual and New Age Myths and 11 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Psychic, plus Numerology Decoder Software and more.

Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

Something I Said – Gay Marriage Dwight Hobbes Insight News archives Gay marriage is wrong? For whom? As long as it’s between adults, the only people a marriage concerns are the one the proposing and the one answering. Regarding gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender and, for that matter, heterosexual unions, unless someone is popping the question to you or me, it’s none of our business. Joseph Phillips, as his Nov. 20 Insight commentary demonstrates, doesn’t understand that. Added to which, he compares apples to oranges, equating non-hetero marriage with, of all things, slavery: obviously he doesn’t comprehend much about the history, much the less the reality, of being Black in America. All he shows any understanding and knowledge of is how to bend over backward minding somebody else’s business. Phillips doesn’t offer a reasoned premise. Instead, he postures on a bully pulpit of whining, self-righteous rhetoric that holds less water than a leaking sieve. His stilted rationale: “[The majority decision by] the Supreme Court of New Jersey…effectively found that homosexual unions were morally equivalent to heterosexual unions…based…in part on societies’ changing opinions and attitudes.  Changing opinions, though, no matter how heartfelt, are not a valid standard by which to measure the morality of behavior. It was not changing attitudes that ended slavery, for instance; it was the ascendance of the principle of equality.” Phillips blithely glosses over, in deciding what is and isn’t “a valid standard”, the fact that he has no right to measure someone else’s morality in the first place — especially since no in question is asking to marry him. His circular musing over semantics about attitudes versus a principle’s ascendance is moot. In addition, this has nothing to do with slavery. The matter at hand is discrimination, denying a basic civil right. Anyone who has had even a nodding acquaintance with African American history or learned anything on the wrong end of prejudice realizes the difference. “Societies have uniformly seen marriage as a positive good because marriages produce, protect and educate children”, Phillips proclaims.  “The state supports marriage because it has rightly recognized that families are the primary source of moral education in our society, and a free society has a vested interest in strong, healthy, stable heterosexual families.” Let’s take that pat propaganda point by point and have an unvarnished look at straight marriages. They may be the heart and soul of Norman Rockwell paintings, but in life they are a crapshoot. Barbara Whitehead and David Popenoe’s 2004 report “The State of Our Unions”, prepared at Rutgers University for the National Marriage Project, acknowledges what for ages has been common knowledge: about as often as not, marriages go to hell in a hand basket. It’s also common knowledge that marriages that remain under the same roof don’t necessarily stay intact, that they can wind up some pretty miserable affairs that are more about appearances than substance. One of the hardest things to do is fit two individuals into one relationship. And, clearly, being straight doesn’t guarantee any lock on marital strength, health or stability. As for traditional marriages being a rightly recognized source of moral education, then where are all the rapists, murderers, domestic abusers, embezzlers and politicians coming from? The stork? Even if you happen to be a by-the-good-book Christian who goes by the tenet that it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, you do not have the right to, as it were, cast the first stone. The most devout Christians adhere to the First Commandment, yet don’t lose a wink of sleep counting Hindus deities. But, when it comes to their next door neighbors, busy-bodies like Phillips just have to stick their nose into another’s bedroom. “For millennia”, he claims, “societies have rejected homosexual marriage not because they are all a bunch of bigots, but because human reason has judged that homosexual behavior is wrong.” Hello? They have judged homosexual behavior is wrong, because they are a bunch of bigots. And, no matter how Joseph Phillips tries to dress his up narrow-minded stumping as legitimate comment, he reveals himself to be a knee-jerk homophobe. As well, the cloying sentimental ploy of dragging slavery into things lays bare his feeble logic. In short, he talks like a fool.

Dwight Hobbes has written for ESSENCE, Reader’s Digest, Washington Post, Minneapolis Star Tribune, St. Paul Pioneer Press, City Pages, Mpls/St. Paul, MN Law & Politics, Pulse of the Twin Cities, Twin Cities Daily Planet, Women & Word, San Diego Union-Tribune and Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder (where he contributes the commentary column Something I Said).  He’s spoken his mind over National Public Radio, Minnesota Public Radio, Blog Talk Radio’s UNOBSTRUCTED and KMOJ in Minneapolis and St. Paul. Was regularly featured as guest commentator on NewsNight Minnesota (KTCA-Minneapolis/St. Paul) and Spectator (Minneapolis Television Network). His monthly column “Hobbes In The House” in MN Spokesman Recorder speaks to domestic abuse and rape. His plays are Shelter – produced at Mixed Blood Theatre by Pangea World Theater, Dues – produced by Mixed Blood Theatre, University of Southern Illinois in Point of Revue, selected for Bedlam Theatre’s 10-Minute Play Festival and published by Playscripts, Inc. You Can’t Always Sometimes Never Tell – produced by Theater Center Philadelphia, Long Island University, reading at The Kennedy Center and published in the anthology CENTER STAGE, In the Midst – produced by Long Island University, starring Samuel E. Wright.  Hobbes spoke on the panel “Farewell To August Wilson” at the Guthrie Theater, broadcast on Conversations With Al McFarlane (KFAI, KMOJ). Singer-songwriter Dwight Hobbes recorded the single “Atlanta Children” (BeatBad Records) and gigged 10 years in the Long Island/NYC area, including The Other End, Kenny’s Castaways and My Fathers Place.   He fronted the Boston blues band Midlight.  In Minneapolis, Hobbes opened for David Daniels at First Street Entry, James Curry at Terminal Bar, sat in with Yohannes Tona, Alicia Wiley at Sol Testimony’s Soul Jam, The New Congress at Babalu, Willie Murphy at the Viking Bar and Wain McFarlane & Jahz at Lucille’s Kitchen. Dwight Hobbes still drops in at the occasional open mic around town. www.myspace.com/dwighthobbesmusic

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Taiwan Joins Same-Sex Marriage Nations

Source References:
http://www.asahi.com/ajw/articles/AJ201701060024.html
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Which Countries Allow Same-Sex Marriage?

Is It Legal To Discriminate Against LGBT? http://testu.be/1JDjK1e
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Gay rights, including marriage, have become increasingly relevant with countries stepping up to legalize same-sex marriage. So where is same-sex marriage legal?

Learn More:
37 States with Legal Gay Marriage and 13 States with Same-Sex Marriage Bans
http://gaymarriage.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=004857

Gay Marriage Around the World
http://www.pewforum.org/2013/12/19/gay-marriage-around-the-world-2013/
“A growing number of governments around the world are considering whether to grant legal recognition to same-sex marriages.”

Frequently Asked Questions: Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)
http://www.glaad.org/marriage/doma
“Section 3 of the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” has been declared unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court.”

Iceland Picks the World’s First Openly Gay PM
http://content.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1875032,00.html
“When Barack Obama was sworn in as the new U.S. President last week, Americans made much of the fact that he was the country’s first black Commander in Chief. ”

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A Chinese court ruled against a gay couple in the country’s first same-sex marriage lawsuit, dealing a blow to the campaign for LGBT equality. CNN’s Matt Rivers reports.
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Jake Tapper examines how accurate the claims made by Ted Cruz calling out other GOP candidates on the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage really are.

Ben Shapiro (Editor-in-Chief, The Daily Wire) joins Dave Rubin to discuss his views on gay marriage, gun control, and his debate with Piers Morgan on CNN. Watch the full interview about conservatism vs leftism, free speech, gay marriage, and more: http://bit.ly/1SWwvwL ***Subscribe: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=RubinReport

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Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends

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We support gay marriage. Here’s why you should too.

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Over the last several weeks gay-rights proponents have been staging protests and rallies in opposition to the outcome of Prop. 8, the California constitutional amendment banning gay-marriage; these protests, from my standpoint, border on incomprehensible. Rather than protesting the outcome of the Proposition 8 vote, gay-rights activists should be dancing in the streets, and so called traditional married couples should be petitioning for their emancipation.

 

On the surface Prop. 8 appears to simply limit the rights of gay couples to marry; however, from another perspective the Prop. 8 vote in California actually limits the government’s power of licensure, hindering its ability to extend marriage licenses. Keep in mind that the legal definition of a license is:

 

“The permission granted by competent authority to exercise a certain privilege that, without such authority, would constitute an illegal act.”

 

In other words, marriage in all fifty states is illegal unless the State grants its permission. The truth is that the State and Federal government have gone mad with the power of requisite licensing. Without a license citizens of the US cannot fish, hunt, marry, drive, provide health services (even non-medical), or practice law; they cannot manufacture products, build structures, provide retail or wholesale goods, start a business, trade, or be a travel or real-estate agent; in some states even selling flowers, selling your services as an interior designer, or running a public pinball machine are strictly prohibited without a State issued license. The ugly truth is that in many cases licensure is a hidden tax on consumers and a boon to government at the citizens’ expense; indeed, marriage licensure alone is a $ 100,000,000 a year industry–with 2.2+ million marriages per year at an average cost of $ 44 per license.

 

And what does the government provide in return? Two things: firstly, it provides the chaos which naturally arises as the state attempts to define the nature of a legally binding contract that it did not initiate but requires by law. And second, it provides subsidies in the form of tax breaks and benefits to married couples. The latter might sound good, but the details are troubling. These tax breaks and benefits are a form of wealth redistribution doled out according to the policy objectives of the State and Federal government and is paid for by everyone while directly benefiting only those who are married.

 

Further, a state marriage license embroils citizens in undue contractual relationships with the State and sometimes the Federal government. One of the best anti-licensure arguments that I’ve read comes from a rather unlikely source; Pastor Matt Trewhella writes in a thorough and well-thought-out article addressed specifically to Christians:

 

“When you marry with a marriage license, you grant the State jurisdiction over your marriage. When you marry with a marriage license, your marriage is a creature of the State. It is a corporation of the State! Therefore, they have jurisdiction over your marriage including the fruit of your marriage. What is the fruit of marriage? Your children and every piece of property you own. There is plenty of case law in American jurisprudence which declares this to be true.” [source]

 

Truly, nothing gives the State the right to make illegal the consensual contract of marriage, except for that which the citizens of the states allow. For this reason Prop. 8 was an overwhelming success. It rightfully limited the government’s too-often-abused power of licensure.

 

If there was any problem with Prop. 8, it was that it did not go far enough. Certainly, another amendment is needed in California, and all states for that matter, that would deprive the State of the power to prohibit marriage without its consent. The right of contract is one that ought to belong to the free citizens and to no other. To the gay-rights activists I say, take to the streets, though not in protest, but in celebration; and thank the “traditional” married couples and religious organizations that funded the Vote Yes campaign, for there in lies your protection from overreaching State power.

 

Chris Waner is a writer, artist, and musician in New York City. You can read more of Chris’ articles at The Free Exchange

In this article I am about to reveal what is arguably the #1 most significant secret to a fulfilling and a happy and successful marriage.

First of all, let us define successful. Some consider that a couple that remains married for a long period as having a “successful” marriage. That is far far from the truth. The fact is that many, many couples remain married for the very same reasons that many, many couples get married in the first place… FEAR. That’s right, fear of separation. Fear of starting over again. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of finding someone else. Fear of not having the security of knowing that somebody is there in their life (rather they’re fulfilled or not). Fear of being yet another divorce statistic. Fear of breaking the marriage vows of staying together “till death do us part”.

So just because a couple may have been married for 31 years that does NOT mean that they have a “successful” marriage.

Success at anything can best be defined by a fulfillment of ones goals. For example if a person says that they’re goal is to run in the next marathon, and they actually run in it then they have succeeded (rather they actually complete the entire run or not). It was still an admiral goal they set and they did run in it and they should be proud of their success. It is something the vast majority of other people would NEVER do.

If another says that their goal is to complete the marathon race and they actually complete it then they were a success. They were successful at completing their goal.

If another says that their goal is to win the next marathon, they will only have succeeded if they actually WIN it. There is only one winner. To succeed, they have to come in first place. If they come in second place then they achieved something admiral… but they did NOT succeed. Again… success is the fulfillment of one’s goal and purpose.

Nobody get’s married with a goal of staying married. They’re goal is to have a happy and fulfilling life with this other person. The only successful marriages are those where both in the relationship are happy, content and fulfilled. A couple who has been miserably married for 20 years is NOT an example of a successful marriage just because neither has the gumption to get out of the hell which has become their married life, (sometimes since before the honeymoon).

So this report is not about how to stay in a bad marriage (and remain miserable, depressed, unfilled and oftentimes…unfaithful). NO, this is about the SECRET to a happy and fulfilled and therefore successful marriage.

This secret is so simple and yet so obvious that many of you may be disappointed in it’s simplicity. It is nothing profound and yet …it is profoundly simple and true.

Many couples go to marriage counselors and couples therapy trying to fix bad or even ruined and irreparable marriages. For those couples this secret isn’t going to help them much. They should have learned this secret a long time ago… before they even got married.

You see, it’s extremely difficult to put something back together that was never quite together to begin with. Often, it was broken from the onset and now you want to fix it.

There are many reasons that people get married:

* Desperation
* Insecurities
* Need
* Greed
* Free sex
* Want kids
* AIDS
* Lonely
* Want stability
* Getting older… “Don’t want to grow old alone.”
* Pregnancy “It’s for the kids”

All of the reasons above, 100% of them are BAD reasons to get married.

It is astounding to see the foolish thinking that is prevalent today. There are many people, once they make up their mind that they want to get married will then marry the first person who stumbles across their path and is equally determined and equally desperate. Often they set their standard so low it’s as if the only qualification is a ‘willingness’ to “commit”.

Having said all of that I will now reveal to you THE SECRET to a successful marriage. It far surpasses anything else you will ever hear or learn about this subject. THE SECRET is this… ((drum roll please)) …MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON!

That’s it folks. THAT is the “secret”, Marry the Right person in the first place… and everything else can work itself out!

The “right” person means the RIGHT person for you. And it is critical that you know that they are the right person for you ONLY if you also are the right person for them.

Fellas’ you may have a picture in your mind and an image of the girl of your dreams but you must also be the man of her dreams …or that dream may turn into a nightmare. Same for the ladies, the man whom you envision as your knight in shining amour must also see you as his Queen.

Marriage is really not that difficult at all if you followed this secret to begin with. If you marry the right person you don’t have to spend your entire relationship trying to make that person into whom you want or need them to be.

If you’re single then I say …hold out for the right person. Do not compromise on it. Set your standards high and do not deviate from them.

But I also must say that a problem with many marriages is that people only look for what they want and what and who they envision as being the right type of person for them. You must also consider that you must also be what that other person really and truly wants also. Many marriages fail because this is neglected.

Fella’s, you want a younger, sexy, beautiful woman? That’s fine…but your primary requirement must be that she…in spite of the fact that she has numerous options and will always be hit on almost daily if she’s really truly “hot”…will be content with YOU. If not… then she is NOT the right person… even if you can get her to marry you.

You women who want a guy who is popular, rich, famous… that’s your right to desire that. But you’d better make sure that you are what he really and truly wants as well.

You want him for his popularity, wealth and fame? Well women like you are a dime a dozen. There is no scarcity there, he can replace you in a heartbeat.

If you’re truly serious then take a look down the road…. consider the future. If they are the right person for you but will not be the right person for you down the road… and you know it, then they are NOT the right person for you and you are not the right person for them. Do not use marriage to fulfill your temporary needs. Look for Mr. Or Mrs Right …not for Mr. Or Mrs Right Now.

This article is only for people that are serious about love and marriage. All the game players and people that just want to use the institution of marriage to fulfill your ulterior motives… I have nothing to say to you at all other than… I wish you the worst. To the rest… the sincere folk, good luck! But rather you’re looking for true love or just want to have fun there is truly nothing like using chat rooms to find exactly the type person that is perfectly suited for you… and most people are just missing out on the opportunities here because nobody has ever shown them how to use chat rooms to find your true love online.

If you found this article helpful then I would suggest that you immediately go to the website below for some truly insightful info on how to use the internet and especially free online chat rooms instead of dating services to find true love and happiness. http://chatroomdatingsecrets

Two recent articles shed light on the upcoming Supreme Court ruling on marriage. One from Katy Faust: http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/02/14370/

And the other by pastor Allan Edwards: http://www.christiantoday.com/article/pastor.who.admits.attraction.to.men.marries.a.woman.and.is.expecting.a.child/45483.htm