Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

 

Cyber bullying on children, a relatively new phenomenon, has left parents scratching their heads wondering how they can prevent it. Parents facing the influences of social networking sites and cell phone based bullying on their child can take a practical approach to get rid of cyberbullying with a few easy steps.

Prevent Raising a Bully

According to a recent study conducted by researchers from Tulane University, “children who were spanked more than twice a month were 50% more likely than those who weren’t spanked to develop aggressive behaviors.”

It’s easy to point fingers at parents, but even good parents can end up raising a bully. Below is a brief list of useful tips to help parents as much as possible:

Be a source of inspiration for your child by knowing how to control your temper, as your child keenly studies your behavior.
Listen: Get involved with your child and pay close attention to their social relationships and your child’s words about their classmates.
Maintain a friendly environment where your children can be assured that they can share their feelings with their parents.
Give your child exposure to a diverse environment and explain to your child why it is important to respect people from all walks of life.
Impart discipline, respect, and good manners to your child. Teach your child empathy.
Seek the help of professionals if your child portrays a lot of aggression or was once doing so.

Identify Cyberbullying

The best way to make sure that your teen is safe online is to use an internet and cell phone monitoring parental control software that requires no download or installation. Such software is designed to make parents aware of the questionable behavior of children on the web, including the photos and the videos that kids share publically, personal information, potential internet addiction, and change in privacy settings on social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace automatically.

Along with this, parental control software can also help you keep tabs on a child’s mobile phone usage, including mms and text messages, and empower parents to guard their child’s reputation by flagging postings that could cause serious harm to your teen’s future. All you have to do to sign up is simply submit your teen’s email address and the software will take care of everything else.

Talk to your children

Kids are not always open to the idea of reporting a bullying incident, whether they are a victim or a bystander because many teens think that telling a trusted adult may result in their computer or cell phone privileges being taken away.

Kids need to know that adults take their reports of bullying seriously and will take action. If your child is currently a victim of bullying or cyberbullying, follow some of the conversation points below with your kid or teen:

If you don’t trust us, then at least share your problems with your friend. It’s an easier way to tackle the situation of an aggressive child by including someone who is your child’s friend in the conversation.
We’re always there for you, you aren’t alone. Numerous children suffer the affect of isolation today.
Please talk to me, you don’t need to suffer. Please let me know what’s going on, or I can’t help you. If you don’t prefer telling me, then speak to a trusted teacher or counselor at school and together we can solve your problem. (Try to console your child, and develop trust that silence may worsen the situation more).
Never strike back. Although your child’s aggressive behavior may double your anger and frustrate remember never to react in kind to children. It will only worsen the situation and double your child’s aggressive attitude.
Console your child to entertain outside school activities. Boost your children’s confidence by involving them in good activities that will raise their self-esteem.

Follow these simple steps and safeguard your kids and teens from cyberbullying and other online threats.

 

Monitor your child’s online activity and track cell phone text messages by using Safetyweb – Parental control software. Safetyweb does not require any download or installation, and helps parents in monitoring cell phonesfacebook monitoring and tracking other online activities of their children to identify cyberbullying and safeguard the safety of their children.

Inland Northwest schools respond to viral article on notifying parents about bullying (3-9-18)

“What do we owe our tormentors? It’s a question that haunts those who had childhoods marked by years of neglect and deprivation, or of psychological, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of one or both parents. Despite this terrible beginning, many people make it out successfully and go on to build satisfying lives. Now their mother or father is old, maybe ailing, possibly broke. With a sense of guilt and dread, these adults are grappling with whether and how to care for those who didn’t care for them.”*

Slate asks an interesting question: do adults who were abused by their parents owe those parents anything? Is there a line between physical or emotional abuse? Should adult kids be the bigger person? Cenk Uygur and Ana Kasparian discuss with examples.

*Read more from Emily Yoffe/ Slate: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html

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my thoughts on this trio of molestors
JONATHAN AND SARAH ADLETA – BABIES BEING CONCEIVED JUST TO BE SEXUALLY TORTURED ~ CCA0097 ~ UPDATED 01.08.2014

http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2013-09-12/news/os-oviedo-mother-child-sex-husband-trial-20130911_1_sexual-exploitation-sarah-adleta-sexual-abuse
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Vegan KIDS Videos from Bite Size Vegan

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Other References:
Atherosclerosis, Heart Disease, Cholesterol
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/eliminating-the-1-cause-of-death/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3603726/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1312295/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/new-target-cholesterol/
http://nutritionfacts.org/video/trans-fat-saturated-fat-and-cholesterol-tolerable-upper-intake-of-zero/
http://www.dresselstyn.com/reversal01.htm
Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics Conflicts of Interest

http://www.eatdrinkpolitics.com/wp-content/uploads/AND_Corporate_Sponsorship_Report.pdf

Did you know that 14 of the 15 Leading causes of our DEATH are linked to ANIMAL foods!

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6. 101 Reasons To Go Vegan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-F8whzJfJY
7. Lucent https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KArL5YjaL5U
8. Speciesism The Movie http://speciesismthemovie.com
9. Dr Greger – Uprooting the leading causes of death

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Welcome to Top 10 Archive! Though children are meant to be loved, sometimes that’s not always the case with some people. While they’re meant to be cared for, sometimes parents lose sight of their role and snap. Warning, the material found in this video may not be suitable for all audiences.

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10. Gary Sherrill
9. Timothy Ray Jones, Jr.
8. Dora Luz Buenrostro
7. Darlie Lynn Routier
6. Justin Ross Harris
5. Michelle Kehoe
4. Lacey Spears
3. China Arnold
2. Megan Huntsman
1. Andrea Yates

References:
http://archive.azcentral.com/community/phoenix/articles/20140115phoenix-man-accused-sons-ax-murder-pleads-not-guilty-abrk.html
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/02/records-ariz-man-admits-killing-son-with-ax/4292561/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/01/gary-sherrill-phoenix-axe-murder-son_n_4528664.html
http://whtc.com/news/articles/2015/dec/09/south-carolina-seeks-to-execute-man-accused-of-killing-five-kids-reports/
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/timothy-ray-jones-jr-warrant-reveals-details-of-south-carolina-deaths/
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/timothy-ray-jones-jr-warrant-reveals-details-of-south-carolina-deaths/
http://articles.latimes.com/1998/jul/31/news/mn-8946
http://www.nytimes.com/1994/10/30/us/mother-is-arrested-in-deaths-of-3-children.html
http://www.murderpedia.org/female.B/b/buenrostro-dora.htm
http://crime.about.com/od/current/a/darlieroutier.htm
http://www.fordarlieroutier.org/
http://murderpedia.org/female.R/r/routier-darlie.htm
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2669988/Justin-Ross-Harris-internet-searched-long-takes-animal-die-hot-car-toddler-son-died-way.html
http://www.people.com/article/toddler-dies-in-hot-car-justin-ross-harris-georgia-murder-police-respond-false-reports
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2685365/EXCLUSIVE-The-shocking-tweet-Justin-Ross-Harris-accused-leaving-22-month-old-son-hot-car-die-NEW-INVENTION-Snooze-buttons-babies.html http://www.people.com/article/justin-ross-harris-pretrial-prostitutes-allegation-online-posting
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/29/iowa.michelle.kehoe.trial/ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/michelle-kehoe-gets-life-sentence-for-killing-son-judge-denies-contact-with-surviving-son/
http://www.people.com/article/lacey-spears-blames-son-for-his-death
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/02/lacey-spears-guilty_n_6786034.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/19/china-arnold-appeal_n_3948106.html
http://www.murderpedia.org/female.A/a/arnold-china.htm
http://www.abc15.com/news/national/megan-huntsman-update-utah-woman-gets-up-to-life-in-prison-in-deaths-of-6-newborns
http://www.murderpedia.org/female.H/h/huntsman-megan.htm
http://www.biography.com/people/andrea-yates-235801#psychological-issues-and-murder
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/27/andrea-yates-release-rusty_n_7152836.html

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Little boy’s kind gesture at an Arizona Diamondbacks game caught on tape.
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Talking with your Kids about Current Events? 

Why not?  There are so many news articles on line, in newspapers and on TV that are truly worthy of noting.  The trick if you’re going to talk with your kids about them is to avoid our adult urge to “comment” and/or share our own opinions.  Talk about a turn off!  Most kids are pretty darned sure about OUR opinions–and they don’t need a lecture from us. 

The purpose of talking to kids about current events is to get THEIR opinions and thoughts.  For example, just recently there was a news story about Levi Johnson (you know Bristol Palin’s former boyfriend?).  He was being interviewed and was asked: “Do you have any regrets?”.  He replied that he didn’t regret “being a father”.  No matter what your political beliefs, this is a great lead-in to a discussion. 

In this example, no matter what your opinions and ideas on the subject, this in-the-news broadcast issue can provide a glimpse into your child’s notions and beliefs about many aspects of this story. This could be a good opening to talk about “premarital sex”, “teen relationships”, “behavioral choices”,  “risky behavior”, “long-term plans”, and a whole bunch more. 

If you wanted to start a conversation with your child about any of these issues, how would you begin?  Sit down and say, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about ____”  or “Now’s a good time for us to talk about ___” Or “What do you think about ____?”  Any of these openings delivered out-of-the-blue is likely to illicit an unspoken thought: “Oh, boy, here we go…here comes the lecture!” 

The mistake that many parents might make in bringing up a life-lesson subject into a discussion is that we adults often want to lead the discussion.  After all, we’ve got the maturity and life-long experience to impart.  When we tout our own opinions before finding out what our children think, we often shut the door to an open and genuine conversation.  Kids often perceive the spontaneous personal “conversation” as a one-way lecture and give us a glazed stare–have you noticed?

Instead, using another outside-the-family specific person or event (like one “in the news”), provides a sense of being an observer to the issue.  By seeing the issue from a slight distance parents and kids can talk about them and their issues–them or what they or how that worked for them–it’s not quite so personal or open to personal criticism or embarrassment.

Here are some tips to connecting with your child and finding out what he/she thinks:

 Be vigilant!  Be on the look-out in the newspaper, on-line and in televised news for stories that can open a discussion.  It might be about sex, drugs or music–it might be about personal safety–it might be about school behaviors or education.  The news is full of ideas–EVERYDAY!
Ask if your child heard the story (on the news, in the paper or on-line) about _____.  If not, explain what happens in the story.  If so, ask, “What do you think about it?”
Be prepared to ask open-ended questions so that you won’t get a “uh” or a “yes” or a “no”.  Try questions like “What do you think he was thinking?” or “What do you imagine he thought was going to happen?” or “How do you suppose he got in that predicament?”. 
Avoid asking leading or personal questions like: “You wouldn’t do that, would you?” or (even worse) “You wouldn’t be so foolish as to think that, would you?” or “How can I be sure you aren’t going to get into that type of trouble?”. 
Ask your questions and give your child plenty of time to respond. 
Avoid judging his/her response, notions or beliefs.  Notice your own tendency or desire to preach or teach and DON’T.  Keep asking open-ended questions so your child can keep sharing and talking.  This is your opportunity to find out what your child needs to know or understand–not your time to act on it.
If the “discussion” goes awry, apologize for YOUR part in the conversation.  Explain that you just wanted to talk TOGETHER about what YOU had seen “in the news”.  But, don’t defend your position about the subject–it’ll lead to an argument if your child disagrees.  Or it might even shut your child down and close a future window of opportunity for discussion.
Be gentle on yourself.  Talking WITH kids is tough!  It takes practice and intention to automatically use “open-ended” questions.  It takes a true desire to find out what your kids think and belief and resist the immediate desire to correct their thinking. 

Parenting requires patience, skill, knowledge–and experience.  Your children are out-there exposed to all sorts of ideas and behaviors.  Our job is to assist them to do what we did–learn from what we observe and experience.  Talking with your kids about issues “out-there” makes it easier to open a conversation about a subject, learn from it and change or confirm beliefs and ideas.  Luckily there is a lot of hot-topics in the news everyday we can use to start the dialogue. 

For more information about relating to kids and learning how to join with them, you’re invited to visit http://www.EncourageBetterBehaviors.com After all, when the goin’ gets rough, it’s wise to go ‘n’ get more information.

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A couple from Italy sue a hospital for a failed abortion and costs for raising their daughter who is now 14.

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